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Wit
and Wisdom 1
2
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- If
at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
- Accidents
don't just happen. They must be carelessly planned.
- If
you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
- Revenge
has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water
has on thirst.
- If
someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it
only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them in
the head.
- Always
keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to
eat them.
- Nobody
cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- The
act of giving is more important than the merit of the receiver.
- The
early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
- If
you put your nose to the grindstone, you'll get a flat face.
- Accept
that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the
statue.
- Take
it easy, and if you get it easy take it twice.
- Speak
when you are angry and you will make the best speech you
will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce
- Never
try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys
the pig.
- Never
say 'OOPS!' Always say 'Ah, Interesting!'
- You
never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
- The
sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch
up.
- Life
is full of surprises. Don't insist on everything being predictable.
- A
clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Before
you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That
way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes too.
- People
are illogical, inconsiderate and self-centred. Love them
anyway.
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